When I’m Not Ready

I wrote this entry when I found out about a move I was unexpectedly about to make with my husband. We weren’t prepared financially or mentally at the moment, and I felt fear steadily rising inside my heart. I truly wondered what God was doing and felt confused with what was right to do. I began writing because I knew it would be good to look back on what I was feeling at the time. I knew I would look back and have a testimony regarding that moment of things feeling out of control.

I knew God could see beyond what my husband and I could see. I felt the Lord strengthening me and preparing me. We ended up making the move and being prepared down to every penny needed for our next chapter. Things came before we thought we were ready, but God knew what was best for us. I’m glad I wrote this then, because I feel gratitude looking back and seeing the Hand of God on our life.

Things fell into place quickly and He made a way for us. Maybe you can’t relate to this feeling yet. I wanted to share with you that in my weariness and uncertainty, God has always been there. He is with you, too.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Sometimes change happens before I’m ready. Before I want to say goodbye. Before I do all I planned to do. Before I saved enough. Before I’m healed. Before I saw it coming. But God always knew.

He always knew the details I was oblivious to. He always knew the building blocks to create this moment. He already knew the way I’d need Him in this sudden shift. It wasn’t sudden to Him but He will use it as part of His plan. When I lean on Him, sometimes He gives me what I need and not what I think I want. He knows what it will take for me to grow and calls me into further dependency on Him. He teaches me to grip His hand a little tighter in place of taking steps without Him.

This may not have been my plan but His is better and calls me into freedom. His calls me into a mind that is steady and grounded in His presence - A pillar in times of uncertainty because He is my strength. He promises me that if I lean not on my own understanding and acknowledge Him in all my ways that He will direct my path.

So, I do not need to fear. My mind knows I shouldn’t be afraid but my heart struggles at times to live this out as I look around at what I thought would be around for longer. I feel unprepared - my thoughts falter. But He says my help comes from Him. He says He knows the plans He has for me. He says He’s with me and will never forsake me. He says that he is my counselor. He shows me that He is my Peace. Yes, in the midst of uncomfortable changes and unexpected turns, He will always be my Peace. And He can be yours as well.

You may not feel it at the moment but as you rest in this truth and keep your mind stayed on Him - His peace will flood your heart. Knowing all of the answers doesn’t produce peace. Knowing each turn that will come does not give you certainty - not really. Being prepared for all of life’s unforeseen transitions will not give you strength. All of this fails but He is there - wanting to be your support and sustainer. He wants to keep you in a sound mind despite what feels like disarray. He wants to fill you where you are depleted and help you to stand when you are weak - readying you for the changes in life that may make you feel weakened or unable to walk through. Wherever you are unprepared - He prepares you, He prepares me, And invites us ,

to depend on Him.